The eight Facebook posts we all hate

May 11, 2014
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We all have that friend. You know, the one that has that fine ability to exact a sigh or a roll of the eyes whenever their name appears on our news feed. Now there is always the hide option, or if you’re feeling really drastic, the delete button. But most of us aren’t that mean, are we? We tend to look on daily, sigh, and then seem surprised that the same sort of thing appears the next day. We like our Facebook buddies- so we endure.

On the flipside, have you ever had that moment when you remember a person you haven’t heard from in some time, you visit their page, and you’re incensed by the ‘Add friend’ icon staring back at you? Say what? Maybe I posted one political post too many.

So let’s put it out there. What are the eight Facebook posts we all hate?

1. The (daily) baby photo post

Babies are cute. And it’s only natural that you’re smitten by the new addition to your family. We are happy for you, really. In fact, we thought it was adorable when you posted that first picture and we all liked it. But then it kinda got old, you know. The snotty nose baby, the baby sleeping series, the baby eating series, the baby being babyish series. The baby being a baby, everyday.

2. The ‘what you have eaten’ post

This morning I had delicious pancakes with maple syrup and ice cream. I also drank coffee. It was quite a delightful breakfast. I think I also ate a hash brown. Yesterday I had roast chicken and mash potato for dinner. I also enjoyed that. Are you bored yet? Me too, let’s move on.

3. The ambiguous ‘I’m pissed off’ post

‘Over it!’ ‘I just can’t do anything right.’ ‘Sad face emoticon’
You know these ones. Sometimes you even look at the comments to see if someone took the bait and asked what’s wrong. You then want to slap that person in the face for encouraging dumb behaviour.

4. The subtle ‘I’m aiming this at you’ post

Oh, you’re fighting with someone? You want this person out of your life? Your friends did not say something to your face? Thank you for alerting me, I will now focus my day on fixing a problem I know nothing at all about.
Seriously guys, it’s as simple as a phone call. Or better still, a private Facebook message to said person. That’s free.

5. The ‘I’m so drunk/hungover’ post

Okay so I was an offender here for a little while. Yet after a while I thought- why am I advertising the fact that I’m inebriated? It must’ve been because I thought it was cool for a while. Then I realised it wasn’t. I still like to drink, but I’ll enjoy the night rather than taking my focus away from the night by jumping on Facebook to tell everyone how fun my night is. I’ll just have fun with the people who are there.

6. The ‘please help me with this game’ post

Remember that 4 pics 1 word game?  It’s really not skillful to get everyone else to play the game for you. And while we’re on the subject of games, let’s take a moment to appreciate those candy crush saga requests that make us feel so wanted. And let’s not forget FarmVille. I really wanted to help you buy that cow, I really did.

7. The ‘I’m bored’ post

Read a book. Go for a run. Call a friend. Watch Lost. Ride a bike. Have a wank. Start a stamp collection. Whatever. The world is full of opportunities. Just don’t post a boring post on Facebook when you’re bored. It’s boring.

8. The spoiler post

In the world of illegal downloads and streaming, and the tendency of some to wait for an entire season to finish and then watch it, it’s a tad inconsiderate to chuck a spoiler on Facebook for all to see. Thank god for live footy on tv at least ameliorating this problem for sport. But is anyone else thinking of Game of Thrones as they read this?

Now that the eight most hated posts are out there and we’re all clear, let’s work together to make Facebook a better place for all. The next time your baby does something cute, cuddle it. The next time you’re annoyed at someone, talk to them about it. It might help. The next time you’re drunk, buy another one. As great as social media is, sometimes the real world can be just as satisfying.

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