Sadly, for many men during their mid to late twenties, or even earlier, what was once a strong, thick head of hair has descended into a tuft, with the scalp fast becoming a larger feature and old photos becoming a sad reminder of what once was.
Night and day, men are out there applying the foam in the hope of keeping an image of youth until they’re at least 40, or later. Baldies, or soon to become baldies, may deal with the jibes of those other blokes who seem to have never lost a hair since they turned 12, but they can take comfort knowing that with baldness comes potential greatness. For the shiny nuts that have come before us through history have done us proud, and continue to do so today.
So fellas, if you’re bald and looking glumly at your chrome in the mirror on a nightly basis, take solace in what baldies are capable of. Here’s a list, in no particular order, of the good, the bad, and the, well, ugly…
MJ is still widely regarded as the greatest basketball player of all time. With five MVPs, 10 All-NBA First Team designations, records including the highest scorer of all time as well as a string of other awards – there are too many to name – Jordan could hold claim to being the greatest sporting baldy of all time.
The Dalai Lama
Tenzin Gyatso, the current Dalai Lama, is suitably head of the monks of Tibetan Buddhism. He has travelled the world teaching the virtue of compassion as the necessary condition of a happy life.
Pope Francis is really a breath of fresh air. At least according to mainstream western media reports. They portray the Pope as progressive and even liberal in his approach to the papacy. He is one in a long line of bald popes that have come before him.
Love him, hate him, loathe him, fear him, want to shirt front him – the Russian President is one powerful bald dude. He’s a bit of a throwback to the old Soviet days. He doesn’t like homosexuals, he doesn’t like Eastern European independence, he doesn’t like the United States, he doesn’t like Tony Abbott – but he loves Russia, he loves vodka, and above all, he loves power – and is seemingly unwilling to give it up. He presents like an action man persona to the Russian people so they can admire the strength of their patriotic leader. Flog or not – he’s one powerful bald guy.
Samuel L Jackson
There’s few people out there who have not seen this guy’s shiny bald head in at least one film in their time. What hasn’t he been in? Star Wars, Captain America, Iron Man, Kill Bill, Die Hard, Pulp Fiction, The Avengers…. you get the picture. He did do Snakes on a Plane, but no one is perfect.
This guy just makes bald guys look kick ass – that is all.
Another one of those guys with many haters out there, but there’s no denying that Rupert has been and still is one of the most powerful bald men of all time.
One of the funniest guys going around. Just check out his Michael Jackson skit on YouTube.
Up there with Michael Jordan for being one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Played for six clubs over twenty years and collected enough trophies and medals to fill an art gallery.
Better known as ‘The Rock’. See Bruce Willis for like description.
Terrible name for an artist no matter what way you look at it, yet the guy can rap. A few number ones to his name, a great collaborator, and as bald as they come.
For the better part of 50 years women from around the world have ogled at the man who was the first James Bond, proving that baldness is not the death knell to looking appealing to the opposite sex. Granted, Connery’s baldness has been a gradual, slow and steady process over the years, but he has shown that balding gracefully can indeed be a virtue.
See Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson.
Many would say that going bald and keeping the hair on the back and sides is a big no-no. Apparently not according to the prolific psychologist dishing out family and relationship advice on a daily basis.
Could say that this guy falls in the same category as Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel, except he did it for real. How Mohammad Ali managed to survive eight rounds of his punishment is still one of history’s greatest mysteries.
When you picture a surfer you usually develop the mental image of a tanned pretty boy with blonde wavy hair. Yet the world’s most decorated surfer has been slowly receding since he climbed on his first board.
The most famous wrestler of all time.
One of Australia’s all-time great folk/rock artists.
One of the 1990s tennis stars who helped revive the sport’s then waning popularity with his unorthodox style and charisma, Agassi is one of the sport’s most decorated players of all time. Eight grand slams, a gold medal, and a bank full of money later, losing his hair was never a problem.
I’ve managed to steer clear of politicians until now – but studies have actually shown that bald men are generally perceived as better leaders: http://www.medicaldaily.com/bald-men-are-seen-better-leaders-stronger-and-taller-242905 . Not sure exactly why, but it’s an interesting thought nonetheless. On John Howard, well, no leader stays at the top for eleven years without enjoying a significant amount of influence. Love him or hate him.
Other mentions: Gary Ablett Jnr, Peter Garrett, Mike Tyson, Michael Klim, Paul Kelly, Chris Judd, Jay Z, Jason Stratham, Jason Alexander, Patrick Stewart.
The above list gives us hope. Whether you love the people listed above, or hate them, each one is a significant figure in their own right. Baldness is not a weakness, but an asset. Embrace it!